Building Joy

Global pandemic, impending recession, protests in the street, violence, hate, and anger everywhere - in a world gone mad, is happiness even possible?   When increasing levels of stress, anxiety, and depression are the natural consequence of uncertainty, unrest, and disquiet, is happiness possible?  When so many people are suffering on so many levels, it almost feels wrong to feel happy, if happiness is even possible.

Joy may be a better option.  It has been suggested that happiness occurs at the macro level - "I am happy in my work, relationships, home, with the state of the world " - and therefore is harder to achieve and sustain.  Joy, however, is found in the little moments.   Joy is more sensory in nature.  Smelling flowers, petting kittens, listening to birdsong or hearing a child's laughter - the little delights that occur everyday.  This "bottom up" approach to building joy - noticing, appreciating, reveling in, and recalling these little moments - can, in fact, lead to happiness.  A happiness rooted in the here and now, choosing to be satisfied with what you have rather than yearning for more, becoming more accepting of life's trials, and approaching conflict from a calm and more reasoned perspective.

Joy, it has been argued, is better than happiness.  And, in a world gone mad, our well-being depends on the belief that little moments of joy are still possible.

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Listen to Ingrid Fetell Lee's TED talk on "How To Notice and Build Joy Into Your Life."

Hygge & Happiness

In the darkest of times, with cold winds and raging storms all around, the Danish have devised a weapon of first resort.  A weapon that can eliminate, or at least diminish, the feelings of stress, sadness, and hopelessness that often arise in their long, dark, cold winters. That weapon is “hygge.”

Pronounced “hue-guh,” the concept is not easily translated into English but is most often equated with “cosiness.”  Hygge is further associated with a comfortable conviviality and contentment.

Hygge encompasses not only the ambiance of the room (think cushy chairs and wood-burning fireplaces) but also includes dress (flannels and woolen socks), food (porridge and hot cocoa), and company (close friends and meaningful conversations).  Their propensity for creating hygge is one reason why the Danish, in spite of their long winters, have been called “the happiest people on earth.” 

The United Nations has recognized happiness as a “fundamental human goal” and declared March 20th as the International Day of Happiness.  To do our small part in boosting the art and science of happiness, Harmony Moon will be posting suggestions and happy thoughts on our facebook and twitter pages throughout the month of March.  Please join us in helping to increase happiness, health, and hyyge for all the world’s people. 

To get you started, on the right is the GREAT DREAM poster from the Action for Happiness.  It is a science-based “10 Keys to Happier Living."  

To read more about the Danish concept of "hygge," try these resources:

• The Art of Danish Hygge
  
• The Year of Hygge, the Danish Obsession with Getting Cozy

And, if that's not inspiration enough, here's Pharrell Williams and "Happy":

 

2012 - Making it Happen!

Rainbow over the Himalayas

Thank you to everyone who made our last year the best year we've ever had! And thank you, too, for your continued support of independent retail. We appreciate each and every one of our customers - we couldn't keep going without you!

The Mayans may or may not have predicted the end of the world for December 2012 (we hope not) but we predict a great new year full of happiness and prosperity for all!

As our friends from Positively Positive said, no matter what your hopes or dreams or resolutions for the new year: "Say it... shout it... believe it... "I AM GOING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN!"

Waking Up

Hope runs high with the dawning of a new year. We leave behind the events and expectations from the past year - with all of its successes and failures, joys and sorrows, disappointments and happy surprises alike - and make way for the new: new beginnings, new goals, new activities, a new you. We talk about the start of a new year as if it is a chance to start fresh again, wipe away the mistakes of the past, re-invent ourselves, be the people we always had intended to be.

Actually, however, every day affords us that chance to begin anew. Every day that we awake is a new day and new beginning. It's rarely beneficial to set aggressive goals for one's self that, come March, will be forgotten amidst the fears and frustrations of too high expectations. Instead, try setting little every day goals, easily accomplished, that will bring pleasure to you or someone else. Small pleasures and little thoughtful actions, performed everyday, lead to big accomplishments.

Even large mountains are eventually worn down by the simple rain, one drop at a time. And like the rain, with focus and steady effort, transcending both hopes and fears, you will likely wake up one day to a kinder, gentler you.

Wishing all of you peace, love, and much joy in the new year!

Key to a Simple Life: Being Pleasant

One of my favorite quotes is from Elwood P. Dowd, of Harvey fame:

"To get along in this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant."

Of course, Elwood was also an alcoholic and I certainly can't recommend taking to drink to get along in this world. However, it seems to me that we can all benefit by taking a page from the book of Elwood. You only have to turn the TV to any "reality" show to see that we are now living in a world that encourages conflict, competitiveness, and the demeaning and humiliation of others. Yet, the participants on these shows don't seem to be happy. In fact, they seem to be living largely unhappy, complicated, and conflict-ridden lives.

I have to agree with Mr. Dowd, there's a lot to be said for being pleasant. Elwood largely avoided conflict by trying to be as agreeable as possible to those around him. He helped when he could, shared what he had, and tried to get along with everyone. He found everyone interesting and listened to their stories with fascination and appreciation. People liked being around him because he cared.

Sounds to me like a recipe for a happy life.

6-foot rabbit optional.

Time for Happiness?

Here's another idea whose time has come: a national Happiness Index. We all know that money doesn't buy happiness, and with the current state of the economy, that message has hit home, hard, for many of us. So if happiness doesn't come from financial prosperity then where does it come from? The little country of Bhutan seems to think it knows.

Bhutan has implemented a national Happiness Index, called the Gross National Happiness, to measure the success of its people and its government policies. Built on the "four pillars" of sustainable development, environmental protection (more than 25% of its landmass is protected forest), cultural preservation, and good governance, Bhutan has seen dramatic improvements in literacy, infant mortality, and the general health and welfare of its population.

Now other countries are studying the model, hoping to develop their own models of health and happiness that go beyond economic success. Both Great Britain and Canada have implemented national indices of well-being. Perhaps it's time for the U.S., too, to shift its focus away from increased consumption towards an increase in quality of life.

For more on Bhutan's Gross National Happines index:

"A New Measure of Well-Being from a Happy Little Kingdom," The New York Times, Oct. 4, 2005.

"Bhutan's Enlightened Experiment," National Geographic, March, 2008.

Living With Outrageous Joy (book review)

“Trying creates impossibilities, letting go creates what is desired.” - Stalking Wolf, an Apache elder

Living With Outrageous Joy, by Madeleine Kay, is a wonderful little book with a big message. In easy-to-read snippets, Madeleine Kay presents her ideas about living a joy-filled life. She quotes freely from Native American elders, as well as from Michelangelo, Helen Keller, and the Buddha, among others. This book is fun, energetic, and motivating and makes a great gift for anyone who needs a little joy in their lives.

What Makes You Happy?

What makes you happy? Like Maria in A Sound of Music, I can list a few of my favorite things: hot cocoa on a cold winter's day, brightly-colored birds twittering excitedly around a bird feeder, long walks along the river with my honey. . . When you're feeling down, what gets you "up" again? What makes you happy?

Most people believe themselves to be pretty happy, overall. Research shows that "happier people are healthier, more successful, harder-working, caring, and more socially engaged." (The Sunday Times Magazine, October 2, 2005; read the full article here.)

Research on what makes people happy has blossomed in the last several years as a new field of study called "Positive Psychology." As its name implies, Positive Psychology focuses on the positive experiences in people's lives as well as the specific character strengths - such as humor and honesty - that make happy people happy. Some of the goals of Positive Psychology are to support the development of happy, healthy families, schools, and communities.

Positive Psychology support groups are popping up all over, including right here in my town of Alexandria, VA. The Inner Arts Center sponsors a monthly group on the 3rd Saturday of every month. The group shares articles, books, and techniques exploring topics such as optimism, resilience, savoring, and awe. If you're interested in bringing more happiness and joy into your life then you may want to look for a Positive Psychology support group in your own area.

And, as Maria von Trapp knew, simply remembering a few of your favorite things will bring a lilt to your step and a smile to your face - and then you won't feel so bad!